when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
