how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
