When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
