these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
