What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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