I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize