He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
