I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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