I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize