He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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