if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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