New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
