I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
