Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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