she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
