So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
