I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
