i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize