He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
