I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
