I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
splinters make it hard to masturbate
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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