I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize