I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
