how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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