Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
