Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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