I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
