What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
