I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
