fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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