Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
