he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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