just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
