Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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