I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
