he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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