just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
