pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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