She's JV to your varsity
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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