didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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