These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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