I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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