Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
