He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
