I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
