Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
