Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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