What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
