"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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