So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
True strength comes from lack of pants
Pants are for mortals
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
