in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
