p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
