Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
