very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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