Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize