That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
