He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
