Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
