he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize