With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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